forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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