Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
My bed smells like the plague
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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