My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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