Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
