I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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