all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
