she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
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