I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
