You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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