why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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