Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
