airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
