Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize