are you so shy because you have an std?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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