Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
