i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
We got so high we made milksteak
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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