wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
