I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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