She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
