Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
