In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
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