she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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