Fuck appropriateness.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
