Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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