the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
