Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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