the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
