Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
So. Much. Porn.
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