you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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