So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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