I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
