the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
