I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
