Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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