I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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