Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
