...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
