Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
