he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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