My balls are so social today.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
