does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
