I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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