this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
