@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
