Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
