I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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