worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
