atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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