This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
