at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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