she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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