Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
