i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
