My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize