I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
