Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
