sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
and she was petting her beer can
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
When are your genitals available?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
