There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
