as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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