Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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