he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
