did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
