ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize