is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
