i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
