all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
