my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
